Monday, 7 December 2015

No Man's Land blurb Version 2.0--Feedback Welcome!

A few days ago I posted a blurb for my upcoming novel No Man's Land, the third in my Trench Raiders series of World War One novels. Thanks for your input! Here's my revised version of the blurb. What do you think? Blurbs are tough!

No Man’s Land—a hellscape of shell craters and dead bodies. Soldiers have fought over it, charged across it, and bled on it for a year of grueling war, but neither side has dominated it.

Until now.

An elite German raiding party is passing through No Man’s Land every night, attacking the British trenches at will. The Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire Light Infantry need to reassert control over their front lines.

So the exhausted men of Company E decide to set a trap, a nighttime ambush in the middle of No Man’s Land, where any mistake can be fatal. But the few surviving veterans are leading recruits who have only been in the trenches two weeks. Mistakes are inevitable. 


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Much tighter!

Sioux said...

Sean--I love the phrase "hellscape of shell craters" and the "Until now."

Would you consider eliminating the phrase "where any mistake can be fatal" and instead introduce the concept of fatal mistakes at the very end. Maybe something like "Now, any mistake could be fatal..."

Good luck! You're so prolific--I'm envious.

Looking for more from Sean McLachlan? He also hangs out on the Civil War Horror blog, where he focuses on Civil War and Wild West history.

You can also find him on his Twitter feed and Facebook page.